April 21, 2025
Let’s be real: perfectionism is that toxic ex we all keep going back to. You know it’s not good for you, but something about it feels so right… until you’re crying at 2AM over an email draft or avoiding starting a project because it “might not be good enough.”
Hi, I’m me—recovering perfectionist, still tempted, but learning to walk away one small moment at a time.
The Illusion of Having It All Together
In my early 20s, I wore perfectionism like a badge of honor. If I wasn’t doing the most 24/7, I felt like I was failing. I thought being perfect meant I was succeeding, impressing people, and staying in control.
But the truth? I was anxious. Tired. Constantly comparing. I couldn’t start anything unless I thought I could absolutely crush it. I overthought texts. I rewrote Instagram captions. I stayed in situations longer than I should’ve because I didn’t want to “fail” at them.
When I Knew It Was Time to Let Go
The turning point came when I realized that my need to be perfect was keeping me from actually living. I wasn’t showing up authentically. I wasn’t trying new things. I wasn’t letting people see the real me—just the curated, edited, “safe” version.
I was exhausted from performing. So, I decided to break up with perfectionism.
(Yes, there were tears. And panic. But it was worth it.)
How I’m Healing
Breaking up with perfectionism isn’t a one-time thing. It’s a process. Here’s what’s helping me:
✨ 1. Letting Myself Be Cringe
We’re all going to look back and cringe at something we did, said, or wore. But cringe is growth in disguise. The more I let myself be messy and imperfect, the more I realized: no one actually cares as much as I thought they did.
✨ 2. “Done” Is Better Than “Perfect”
If I waited for perfection, I’d never post anything. Never start that blog. Never launch that idea. Now I ask: Is it good enough to be helpful, honest, and kind? If yes, it’s done.
✨ 3. Talking to Myself Like I’d Talk to a Friend
I’d never talk to my best friend the way I used to talk to myself. I’m learning to show myself the same compassion and grace I give others. Progress, not perfection, always.
✨ 4. Celebrating Imperfect Wins
Sent the email even though I was nervous? Win. Took a break even though my to-do list was long? Win. Posted that reel even if the lighting wasn’t perfect? Big win.
What I’ve Gained Since the Breakup
Since letting go of perfectionism, I’ve gained so much:
- More peace of mind
- Deeper, more real friendships
- Confidence to try and fail (and try again)
- Space to grow without pressure
I’m not perfect. I never will be. But I’m present, passionate, and proud of who I’m becoming.
And honestly? That feels way better.
Sincerely, Sarah